For your convenience, we have compiled the following list of common questions regarding the Global Clearinghouse, its mission and purpose. If your question is not answered below, contact Madame the President or Mademoiselle the Secretary.
- How is this possible?
The scientific and literary causes of this phenomenon, which creates more or less infinite variations of originally solitary men and women, are unclear. Research is ongoing.
- Why do all these guys call each other "twin"?
It's the only term they can think of that halfway approximates their relationship to one another. If you were faced with two or three iterations of yourself, who shared much of your history, personality, looks, and name, and yet were definitely not you, what would you call them?
- So which ones are the real ones?
All of them. None of them. God and Victor Hugo only know.
- Now see here, I'm Enjolras (or Combeferre, or Joly) -- who are these imposters?
Keep an open mind, m'sieur. They probably feel the same way, and there's no telling who's right.
- All right. How do I register?
Have your typist fill out this form in as much detail as you wish to share. If the form doesn't work, have her send the information to Mademoiselle the Secretary.
N. B.: Gentlemen, Prouvaires in particular, should provide their full names, including middle names, in order to minimize confusion. Ladies, please enter your maiden name.
- Can I register if I was not on the barricades?
At the present time, we prefer to focus on those individuals who were directly involved in the uprising. You can submit your registration, however; it's worth a shot.
- How about if I was on the other side?
Certainly not, you royalist bastard. Start your own club.
- Can I register if I'm a girl? (and quit glaring at me, Enjolras!)
By popular demand, we have founded the Ladies' Auxiliary division of the GCDR for sisters, beloved cousins, and significant others of les Amis. If you were sufficiently involved in the Cause or in the lives of one or more of the Society members, you may register using the regular form. Yes, you too, Musichetta.
- I'm not a sister or a cousin or an aunt, I'm the genuine article, dammit!
Then you go in the regular directory, but we trust there aren't all that many of you. After all, if you were all women, you'd have lived longer. :P
- Hey, wait a second, these guys are fictional! Are you people all insane? Don't you have lives?
No comment. (It's a joke. It's a gag. We're having fun, you don't have to participate. Chill.)
- Well, this is great! Can I go write a story now about [insert name]?
You'd better ask him.
(Read: all kidding aside, each of the Amis here listed is the intellectual property of his creator/typist.)
- What about names?
Given the vast number of overlapping realities, and the limited pool of given names in the French language, some names are bound to recur, although this does confuse the task of the Clearinghouse staff.
(Read: If you want to name your Ami after an existing one, common courtesy dictates that you ask permission of the person who came up with it first. As a general rule, this is the person listed first. And no, before you ask, Mademoiselle the Secretary no longer cares if you call Enjolras Marcelin, although she does encourage originality.)